Its been hard thinking of Frank lately

I'm listening to mass this Sunday morning.  I'm also crying because we cleaned out Frank's medicine drawer today.  Everything was thrown out.  I am sad by it, but its been almost a year, and I don't want to remember his taking pills 3 or 4 times a day.  I want to remember the fun times.
I want to remember the snuggly times.
I want to stop crying every time I walk his walk at the fairgrounds.

Its still sad and painful.  I need to make it happy memories that make me smile, but it isn't happening.

When will it start to happen?


I'm hiding my pain and that's not good.  Most people would think, its just a dog.
He was my best friend.  He helped me get through cancer.  I tried to make his heart failure comfortable.  I couldn't fix it, though.  I couldn't cure him.

Now I'm crying again.  I miss him so much my heart hurts.  I pray there is a God and he lets me be with my little guy again one day.  I will be so disappointed if this is it.

One Fine Sunday

So, today I woke up alive.
Still facing a bit of congestion, but that is normal this time of year.
I've been drinking Apple Ginger juice warmed up, and its delightful. Spicy like black pepper on the back of your tongue. 

BD is out shopping.  I'm doing laundry.
My plans are to get a bit of work done, start organizing my desk, and vacuum the guest room.

I'm going to walk Frankie's park and enjoy the day, and maybe visit my parents.

I'm determined to have a good day.

Getting over the loss of a loved one (re-printed from my Cancer Blog)

Even though Frank was a dog, he was my dog.  He was part of my life, and the last year and a half, he was a patient nonetheless.  I was his caretaker, and with that, I would structure my day around Frank and his needs.  He needed to relieve himself (go potty) about every two hours (towards the end), take pills at 6 am, 2 pm, before dinner, and 10 pm.  I made his food.  He also became so used to me being at home, that he developed a serious attachment and would cry when I left.  He still needed his "me time", when I would put him up in his favorite rooms so he could lay on the bed and sun himself.  He could walk and jump just fine, but he wasn't allowed to do stairs in the last 6 months because of his back and his new development of seizures.  I didn't allow him to do the stairs, I should clarify.

Getting over the loss of a loved one is hard.  Last night, I relived his death in my dreams while I was sleeping.  Granted, it was completely different in dream world, but it was my main dream last night.
I still cry all the time.  I tear up when its just me and BD talking about him.  There are pictures of him everywhere, and its not easy to ignore all the times I checked on him during the day, felt him lean up against me at nap time or bed time, and especially during dinner...when he would bully me to take him up to bed when HE wanted to go, just so he could bully me for more Cheerios, his nightly treat.

I think its important to cry when my mind and heart are sad.  I just miss him terribly.  Our world is so upside down right now.  We are starting to get used to the new normal, but I don't like it.  I want to go back in time and have him and hold him again.  Even though he was a dog, he was a loved creature.  He was my little guy and was a big part (the main part) of my life.
I trust something happens when we die.  I have to believe I will see him again.  If there is a heaven and a hell and something inbetween, I want to be so good God will allow me to see Frank again.
God has been good to me.  I begged him to let me live when I had cancer.  I begged him to let me live because I couldn't leave Frank.  He wouldn't understand, and I never wanted him to think I left him and I abandoned him (even if it was because I died).  In the end, I think Frank was holding on and lasted so long for the very same reason.  I don't think he would leave me.  That is true love.
God gave it to me.  I lived and came back to Frank and took care of him while he was sick.  20 months of being sick, and 20 months I might have complained, but I would do 100 more months if it meant I could have him happy and not in pain and with a good quality of life.  The medicine just couldn't keep up anymore, and no matter what I would do, he was getting worse.
God was ready for my boy.  I think he and I both needed to realize that summation.

So, what a long entry.  I'm gong to post this in my Lisa is Living Blog, because I think its an important part of life for me right now.
Be sad when your heart wants you to be sad.  Feeling uncomfortable with the new normal is okay.  Knowing the new normal will at some point be just normal....well, that sucks.  However, its going to happen and that's okay, too...it will happen at the right time.

Happy New Year!

Well, its 2019 and I started the year out strong---with depression.
I have realized its so bad, that my boss at work told me to start a gratitude journal. 
I reflect on what I'm grateful for constantly, and my bad mood does not reflect it.

It might be time for a change at work, it definitely is time for a change no matter what.

There is a new agent at my office who rubs me the wrong way.  He's an idiot, but everyone seems to like him.  He uses the community work station and leaves all his stuff there, like its his personal space. I've asked him to stop--and he doesn't. What really irks me the most is he is one of those people who uses "reply all" to company emails, even when its a personal or not important reply.  I've also emailed him and personally asked him to stop doing that, and he just laughs.  Its so bad it spams up my inbox.  The office personnel seem to think I'm being ridiculous.  I've also been told he has gotten 3 listings in the past 45 days, and I only had 1, so he ranks higher than me. 
I'm going to prove them wrong.
They may be right about my depression--that is hard to control.  I spend a ton of time at home taking care of Frank.  I really can't spend time in the office until after BD comes home.  I just can't.  Frank needs pills every  6-8 hours and pees every 2.  I am not interested in comments that I am ignoring his quality of life.  He has a quality of life because of the care I am giving him, and I am grateful to be able to care for him and work from home as much as possible.

In order to circumvent the idiot that has won over the office, I bought a small travel laptop.  I am going to have our IT guy set it up for me to print at both offices and get online--so no matter which office I'm at, I can print from a desk that isn't the community station---as it is bunked up by so called idiot's stuff.  I've also spammed him in my email.  The downside is I won't get emails from him, so if he ever sends me an offer, I won't get it--until he calls me to ask about the offer.  That's a chance I'm willing to take.  I don't think he will be around much longer anyways.

I did start the gratitude journal.  I'm so mad at my manager for calling me out for being negative, but I do know I am negative.  It all has to change. 

My little frankie

I talk all the time about Frank.  He is a big part of my world, and his health is not good.
This little fighter, he is something else. 
This past week, he had blood in his urine, started an antibiotic and now has had 3 seizures  (that I've witnessed) since.  I'm so concerned, I have left the house twice since it all started.  I'm worried, I'm preparing, and I'm glued to the boy.

This is the toughest thing I have ever faced.  Dr. doesn't want me to bring him in just yet, either, he wants me to call and report daily any changes.  I am to keep him super calm and off stairs/furniture/etc.
Tomorrow is his last day of antibiotics.  Then, I bring in a urine sample to test again to make sure his urine is good and no blood/counts are okay.
I'm a wreck.  Been sleeping on the couch, and, well, actually up most of the night, and napping during the day when I finish working.
I don't want him to suffer, and from his massive want of cheerios, I don't think he is suffering right now.  Of course, I don't even want him to get close to that point.  I'm praying he starts feeling better and the valium starts working.

Its been a rough year.

I wish I followed the motto to Live More this year.
I am almost 42, and I don't feel good about 41, not one bit.
The whole point of documenting my "after cancer" was to help others know there is a light at the end of the tunnel...a light when you survive -- hope it does get better.
Today, I am reflecting back on the past year and not feeling that way at all.

I know I need to change my mindset.  I need to make a clean break.
I think I can start by going through everything.  Make a change.
Dedicate to work more, and to work smarter and be more organized.
Continue to give my all to my dog, my boyfriend, and my family.  I missed so much time this year not seeing my family or spending time helping my parents.
Stop focusing on the krap.  Period.

Enjoy and remember to be grateful each day. Period.

Things are going to change.

Update on Frank/What its like to see a loved one dying

So, Frank was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure in October 2017.  Its been about 10 months.
Frank is my dog, fyi.

Frank is one of a kind, as are most dogs whose owners spoil them.

Frank is up to about 20 pills/day at this point.  He takes benedryl 2x/day, hydrocodone 2/day, Vetmedin 3.5/day, prilosec, sildenafil 2x/day, Lasix 4x/day, Enalapril 2x/day, Spirolactin, and a muscle relaxer or pain medicine if needed (he hurts his back a lot and we think has arthritis, too).
Mornings are the worst.  I thought going potty 2-3x/night was rough, but no longer. 
Waking him up, hearing him cough with every movement is the absolute worst feeling.  I hurt for him, and there is nothing I've found that helps ease that pain.  He hates to eat breakfast anymore. 
He fights every morning pill.
But, by afternoon, he is usually doing better. He can't go on walks anymore because he starts to cough as soon as we hit the street.  The weather really messes with him, too.
I try to take him for little car rides through the subdivision, and he sees his vet about once every 2 weeks.  If he gets excited, he coughs.  If he runs around and plays with his toys, he coughs.

The worst is knowing its not going to get better.  Each day is going to be better than the next.  That is horrible.
He was originally given about 6 months, maybe a year.  We are at 10 months.  We've had a lot of good days.  I won't let him suffer, and I don't think he is suffering other than his cough and the morning routine.
Usually, by dinner time, he takes his pills, eats food, wants to play and wants treats.  So, he feels better as the day goes on.  Some of this is normal aging, I'm sure.  He's at least 10-11 years old, but he could be older.  Some days, he still acts like a puppy.  The pills make him tired, he hates when I stuff them down, but I hope he knows I only do it to help him feel better.

Its a guilt and a pressure like no other.  This is about him, but I am selfish and I mourn on how this sickness affects me.  I mourn on how we don't do what we used to.  I mourn on the future of being alone during the day without him, and it hasn't happened yet.
I mourn for him, too.  I don't want to lose him, and I keep telling him to go when its time.  I don't want to have to put him to sleep.  Who does??? really, who does, ever??  But, I won't let him think I ever abandoned him---I was too scared I was going to die in the hospital before and he would think I left him.  I will be there for him, no matter what.  It just sucks. sucks. plain and simple.

Losing my best friend

I haven't been myself lately.  Well, since October.  That's when my best friend was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  I think I've been depressed this whole time.

Frank is my dog.  We've been together for 8 years.  He is approximately 10 years old.  I adopted him from a shelter.  Sure, I have my boyfriend.  He isn't Frank, though.  Frank and I shared a second floor flat for years.  We walked twice a day, every day up until October when he developed a weird honking cough.  Frank went to work with me.  Frank nursed me when I had cancer.  Missing Frank when I was in the hospital was my motivation to get well.  This little 22 pound of muscle, attitude and fur has been a part of me for so long I am just not coping with it well.

I feel guilty for so many reasons.  I love him so much, and I hate to see him with this diagnosis.  I hate that I have to deal with this diagnosis.  I don't want him to suffer, but I don't want to let him go.
I wish he would pass peacefully in his sleep.  I feel guilty and horrible for getting tired of taking him potty every two hours.  I wonder if I will feel relief after he dies--and that makes me feel awful and like such an evil person for having those thoughts and being so selfish.  I am scared of losing him.  I'm scared of what happens when we die.  I'm scared I will never again feel the love and the bond I have with this amazing little creature. 

Let me be clear:  I have devoted my time to being at home with Frank as much as possible.  I work about 10 hours/week, and I am always tired.  Frank is on lots of medications and takes about 11 pills/day (on good days) right now.  He is not suffering and has a great quality of life.  He does not have the energy he had a year ago.  He coughs when he gets excited.  He pees every two hours.  He wants me to take him for rides.  He wants to go to his favorite places, but he gets too excited in the car--to the point I'm nervous he will pass out or overwork himself.  I don't allow him to run up and down the stairs, so I carry him a lot now.  We found out the hard way if he hurts his back the muscle relaxers cause him to collect more liquid in his chest cavity.  With all of that, I am trying to be the best me and the best nurse I can be.  It is a privilege to be able to take care of him, however long it takes and to help him transition to heaven.  I must believe there is a heaven to handle this.  I believe in God, but I must believe there is a place for Frank to go where I might be lucky enough to see him again when I leave this world.

I've stopped walking--- I feel guilty without my best friend with me- He loves it so much.
I've become lazier than I already am.  AB caught me today eating chocolate chips out of a bag as a snack.  AB also has done more dishes than his fare share lately. Almost all my money is going to work or Frank (meds, checkups, food).

I'm at a loss.  We have had some scary times since October, but Frank is still here, and he is happy to be here.  I made him a new batch of treats today, and I am happy to see him eat them.  I bake or boil chicken breast for him every few days, and I noticed he is starting to get bored of that delicious meal.  I might switch to boiled ground beef for a couple days to just give him a bit of variety...do you see how I think about him and his needs constantly?  He's laying a few feet away from me right now, and I just want to soak it all up.  I don't sleep well, I don't give my boyfriend the attention he needs right now, I just focus on the little one.  My mind is scattered, and I just needed to get that out.

He is a blessing to my life, and I am trying to soak up each day with him, because I don't know how many days we have left.  Its hard to live for me, but making memories with him is most important right now.

My cancer anniversary is coming in February.

That will be my four year anniversary from my diagnosis.  The day I found out I was dying and had cancer.
Its very scary to think of that.  At the beginning of the year, I had a cut on my tongue.  It was like a paper cut on my tongue, with a nasty flap of skin that hurt like a mother.
It hurt for about a week, and I went to see the doctor.  She had no idea what it was, at that point the flappy part was wrinkly and white, because it was kinda dying and drying out.

She wanted me to see a specialist and mentioned the word "biopsy".

I couldn't sleep that night.

I had the fear in me that I was sick again...this was the beginning of it all...again.

I honestly couldn't sleep or think for about 24 hours, but then, the salt water rinses started to help.  The pain got less.  The bump got smaller.  I could talk without pain.
I felt like an idiot.
A complete and utter idiot.

Try telling someone this story that hasn't had a crazy illness or fought for their life.  Try telling a story of how a bump and cut on your tongue led you to think you were going to die and think they believe you.  They won't.  They won't get it.  People won't even validate your feelings.  You are over-reacting. You are silly.
Am I?  Am I?  What happened to me is sheer luck. I am alive today.  But, the feeling of being deathly afraid of getting sick again...its real and its dark.  It is a mindgame.  I know that, but I can't shake it.

I can't seem to get over it.

I am utterly grateful to be alive and I sincerely try to give it my all each day, albeit I am still tired a lot.  I try to savor moments and I sometimes take it for granted, still, but I feel that's living.

When it comes right down to it, though, I am still scared out of my wits to get a new car, have a car payment, buy things, or even work too hard...because if it happens again...then what?

My head is a scary place.

How do you deal with it?  What advice can you give?  This is the time of year when every hot flash and night sweat has me nervous.  A cut on my tongue put me in a mind meld last week--- I didn't talk to anyone about it, either...it made me think awful thoughts.  I even thought I shouldn't put BD through this again.

I need a vacation from my head at this time of year.  Its too much.

I'm living- Dental issues after cancer- reposted from my Leukemia blog

Yep.  It can happen.
It is happening to me.

Last night, my mom asked if it was from the cancer, chemo, or just from my genes/oral hygiene.  I have a feeling its a combo of all of that.
But, can I express that I had daily chemo and lots of it...both IV and orally.  During that time, I used a sponge or a baby toothbrush (no joke) and could not floss or use listerine.  I only used Biotene when I could tolerate the taste (let's make that another topic for another day).  The chemo's main goal was to kill off my blood production so my bone marrow would reset, so to speak.  I would stop making platelets, hemoglobins, and especially we wanted my ANC to drop to as close to zero as possible.  I really feel this played a big part in my dental issues today.

I'm expanding to a new blog this year.

Tomorrow, I turn 40.  Ha, I almost wrote 30.
Today is the last day of my thirties, and the timing couldn't be better.
I've decided to expand to another blog where I promise to write daily the next 365 days (or at least try to).  I want to document 40 for my siblings and to look back on down the road.

Stay tuned, the good posts will also come here, to my general catch-all.

From my Cancer Blog-- Shannen Doherty has Breast Cancer that spread. Personal thoughts-- hang in there girl!

http://www.today.com/health/shannen-doherty-s-breast-cancer-has-spread-unknown-scariest-part-t101358

The article popped in my feed on Facebook and Yahoo! the last few days.  Shannen Doherty has breast cancer, and the pictures of her losing her hair, looking fragile and thin, and the worst news for anyone...the cancer has spread.

Its all over ET (Entertainment News), Yahoo! Bing, MSN, Today.com, facebook, twitter, and GMA (Good Morning America).  The sad thing is I was in high school when Beverly Hills, 90210 made its way into pop culture.  I was a freshman, with long dark brown straight hair and blunt bangs.  I had big plump lips and big eyebrows.  I felt like Brenda Walsh...in a new world...high school in Northwest Indiana in 1990.  Life was good and everything was new.  The digital age was coming, and nintendo and Sega Genesis were all the rage.  MTV still showed music videos (well, now we will have Classic MTV soon, right?).
I grew up with Brenda Walsh and then I became an adult while Shannen played on Charmed.  People my age can relate.  I fought leukemia, so I can relate on another level.

My heart goes out to not just Shannen, but her family as well. My heart goes to everyone who has been affected by cancer.  Family, friends, patients, caregivers...

In fact, today, I talked to my good friend, Sonda.  She is wonderful, we met when we both worked for the same real estate company, practically ten years years ago.  Today, Sonda has her own daycare she runs.  She is passionate about life, God, and her family...and I feel the same, so today was a great day, because I got to talk to my friend, whom I adore.
She reminded me to trust God, he got me this far.  He blessed me so many times, why would he have me go through all I went through with my leukemia, just to let me get trapped up in my own fears...the fears of relapse, the unknown, other health issues, more cancer...you name it...why would that be?  She is right.  I hold a fear of the unknown very strongly...and it keeps me from doing even greater things in my life.

That has to stop today.  I need to put that fear aside and become fearless.

Suck it up, buttercup!  

PS
Shannen: If you read this, hang in there!  It's not fun, regardless of what type of cancer you have--- chemo every day like me or once every week or two weeks...it sucks and we are not ourselves, but we are in warrior training through it.  I feel its like a conscious coma, we are going through the actions, we know what's going on, but its surreal and when its done, you won't think it was that bad.  What happens to our bodies makes us think we are experiments--- that we pay for.  Insurance companies are headaches and nightmares that we think about daily.  We miss a lot and we feel like a dish in the china cabinet everyone is afraid to touch----like we might break.  People you love will be scared to come near you or even touch you....why, for various reasons.  Don't let that break you--- be strong, be you.  You are not alone, and you will get through it.

Breaking the Facebook Habit

Lately, I've been glued to fb.  I don't know why, I just have. 
I'm not as busy as I would like to be at work, and my mind loses focus and I am always catching myself checking my facebook.
Now, I know it can be a great marketing tool in my profession, so I try to post things on my public page a few times a week.  I also try to make comments on my friends pages to keep me 'top of mind'.


Today, though, I decided to put it down and leave it be until Tuesday.


Today, I saw pictures from one of my closest friends recent wedding.  She was one of my dear friends in high school, albeit it a super long time ago.  She never really would post anything on facebook...until this past week...including her fabulous wedding photos.  She looked great, everything looked perfect (maybe that's just it...everything looks too fun and perfect with other's posts).


It was depressing.  Depressing for me, as I saw other people we went to high school with that she obviously stayed in touch with...and I wasn't one of them.  More and more, I notice that the people I went to high school with really don't care about me and never did.  I was never someone's good friend that they wanted to keep touch with.  I need to hold on and pause:  There are 2 people that I have kept in good contact with.  I love them with all my heart, and I am super happy for them always.  They are the best.  The 60 or so others from high school that didn't care I had cancer or just don't make any comments on my posts...screw them. 

Rainy Sunday

My list of things to do is growing.  Its rainy out, Frank is not happy about it one bit, and I haven't blogged or wrote anything for quite some time.

That is all ending today.  I have a ton of stuff to do, and I need to get my butt in gear!  No fooling, this time, either.

This past summer (yes, summer is almost over) has taught me a few things about life, including a need to work, a need to be healthy, and a serious want for a vacation back to vegas.  Hoping BD can make it happen for this fall, we really need it.
I also am on a quest to lose 20 more pounds by then.  Think I can do it?  I'm trying.  Here's to a great attempt-- lets see if I can make it work!  Runkeeper and My Fitness Pal apps are my best friend...and walking Frank is good for it, too.

Now, on to other things like cleaning and organizing my desk today.  Tomorrow is Monday-- a day I plan to be busy.  I am going to make this week a great work week, take my career seriously and make it great.

wow, I've sold a lot of homes!

Ahh the end of the month! Craziness Ensues

Yep, you got me two days in a row.  Not that anyone is reading (seriously, if you read this, please leave me a comment and let me know!)


Trying to grow my business, I have started a postcard mailing featuring some of my best recipes.  I bought some extras, too, to send to ones I want to add or to leave when I door knock.  Yes, I door knock.  I am a proud door knocker and I will be doing it today, and soon.


August's postcard is a recipe for my gingerbread cookies.  August's enewsletter is a recipe for Cherry Walnut coffee cake.  September's postcard will be for Cherry-Walnut Coffee cake and the enewsletter I haven't decided yet.  I need to coordinate them to be the same...will do that for October.


Man, I have a lot to do today, but I really wanted to share a few pictures I took this morning of our lovely fairgrounds---

Sometimes (even when its crazy) you need to stop and appreciate the finer, simpler things in life.  I had to include the pic of Frank from the other day, too.  That was also taken at the fairgrounds...he's always looking for something there!

Wow I've forgotten to blog all summer

I'm sorry about that.
I've been busy, and it hasn't been easy.
Back at work, with a great company, and I have been hitting the pavement (literally), trying to find clients interested in buying/selling real estate.


Real estate is filled with highs and lows, for all parties involved.  I feel sometimes like I am on a roller coaster of a ride, yesterday I was worried, today the worry got worse, but now I'm at a point that we had some small happy bumps and that it will work out.  The feelings as an agent are ridiculous.  I know I shouldn't take it to heart, but I can't.  I work so hard and want my clients to get their best deal/home/sale that it becomes too emotional for me.  Maybe men have it easier in real estate in that aspect, I don't know.  I am so emotional for my clients it really isn't good for me.
However, typing this and getting my feelings out is helping.  This five minutes today of venting that I'm worried and want everything to go smoothly and that I need more clients is actually helping me get through the rest of the day.  Gosh, I love real estate, but when you were forced to take a break, you kinda forget the highs and lows that come with the job.  I need to keep it a bit less emotional, though.


I can work on that, I think.

Trying to get back to living

Yep, I'm trying to get back to the grind of blogging about living again.  I've been so depressed, hateful and resentful about food and the ridiculous allergies and itchy skin that yesterday I realized its not helping.  The attitude has got to go, because I am alive, working, and I have my family, dog, and the love of my life with me.  I won't give up on wheat totally, though.  I decided to indulge a small amount once a week until I am no longer allergic!  I will train my body to resist the release of histamines after wheat!  (big smile here).


Life is too short, right?  I'm just happy to be alive and share my world with anyone that wants to read it.  I have big plans and I'm not going to let another illness or health issue get in my way.  I will heal and I will be better soon.  God has big plans for me.


Today is a day I have been looking forward to all week.  I get to have lunch with an old dear friend, Sonda.  We both worked at the same real estate office many years back.  She is just who I need to help give me strength today.  I can't wait to see her, and I even have a lunch meal plan in place on what to order! 
Then, this afternoon, my sister K and I are meeting with some people at our church about forming a cancer support group/ministry.  I feel like this is part of the plan.  I know I say this a lot to people and probably on here, but I promised God the day I found out I had leukemia that I would make a difference.  I made a promise and I plan to keep it.  I've been trying, but sometimes I let lazy get in the way, and I cannot do that anymore.  Today, K and I make a difference together!

The trouble with allergies

Last week, I had another allergy test at the allergist's office.  We went over both tests, as I had one the week before.  These are the no so comfortable tests where hey poke your back 60 time with different allergens--- I had it done twice, once for environmental items and another for food allergies.


The bad news:  I tested positive for dust mites and mold.  Our yard is wooded, so both of these might be in the air/house.  Who isn't allergic to dust mites and mold?  That's what I want to know.


The badder news:  I tested allergic to the following foods:  wheat, chocolate, almonds, peanuts (the smallest reaction), carrots, spinach, cauliflower, tuna, lamb, and pork. Oh- and potatoes and sweet potatoes, too! I make bread and/or some baked good almost daily.  I eat chocolate, bread, almonds, peanuts, carrots, potatoes, and pork almost daily, too.  I eat spinach, tuna, cauliflower a few times a week.  This sucks! 


What's worse: The past 7 days I have eliminated (at the advice of the allergist) all the items I am allergic to.  It has been really rough, and I am not happy. 
Before you say, "There is a lot of stuff that they make gluten free now", beware my wrath:  Most gluten free items contain potato (starch) and/or almond/nut flour, both of which I can't have. 


Going through withdrawal is awful.  I am having a hard time typing, as I am noticing now.  I have a sudden sinus issue that popped up a few days ago, complete with a gross, clumpy brown mucus.  I am constipated, but sometimes I have to go quite often.  I'm tired.  We are in day 7 and I still have some of my rash on my arms, near my shoulders and on my chest.  I know my skin is dry and flaky, so I am cutting some slack on that, but everything is so weird right now. I believe this all stemmed as a result of all the chemo and drugs, as it started about 6 weeks after I finished taking all my chemo pills.  I am not surprised if it takes longer to go through withdrawal, as my immune system is a bit slow and over sensitive lately. 


I am praying this is temporary and at some point I can go back to my favorites.  Poor BD is getting tired of our new diet.  He is also working hard to eat the rest of the offending products in the fridge so I'm not tempted.   I think he is sick of ham and all the shredded cheese (yes, potato starch a plenty) he has to eat. 

Update on Frank the Dog

Most of you know how much I love animals and especially my best friend, Frank the Dog.  Frank had pancreatitis in March, and I thought I post a quick update on him.
Frank has been doing better.  He is off meds, and now he eats a prescription dog food. 
I've limited his treats to just Milk Bones.  I break them in half, he really doesn't need a whole treat 3xs a day.  Once a week I make him some rice with chicken or chicken broth...which he loves.  It lasts most of the week, as I add it to his food for a special treat.
Frank is still enjoying carrots, both raw and cooked.  He gets a baby carrot almost every day...he loves them so much!


We've also been walking more with the better weather.  Walking is so good for the dogs-- great exercise.  However, there has been an outbreak with the doggie flu lately in our area, so I haven't been taking him to the dog park, just to be on the safe side.  Even though you have to provide vaccinations to get entry, you never know when people are bringing other pets or if their records have expired and their card is still working to get in the park.  I am not ready to deal with another illness for frank, especially with hay fever season coming soon.  Last summer, Frank was on Benedryl most of the summer and some days had to stay inside.  His little puggle nose just couldn't take it!
Well, that's the update on Frank.  He's doing better and I'm so happy about it!